


A New World

by ForWantOfWill



Category: Chaos Walking - Patrick Ness
Genre: Angst, Hope, Pain, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-18
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-15 09:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/848199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForWantOfWill/pseuds/ForWantOfWill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>War has begun, and baby Todd is the only hope left for Ben.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short drabble I wrote whilst procrastinating before an exam. Please forgive me if Todd's mother's name isn't Eileen. Also I kind of Forgot the name of Prentisstown before it was "Prentisstown" (new elizabeth or something?) so please don't shoot me for Ben calling the town Prentisstown when it's not even called that. I may add more chapters some day.
> 
> I tried.

"Take the baby," Cillian yells, his voice a whisper through the fire and bullets and screaming outside-  
Oh, my God, the screaming-  
The screaming of men at war, the screaming of women and girls as they fall and fall and fall-  
Women and girls-  
Oh, God-  
Eileen's body lays on the floor next to the baby squirming in a cot; her baby, Todd Hewitt, the youngest boy in Prentiss town, the youngest boy in Prentiss town ever if this nightmare don't stop-  
And it ain't gonna stop-  
It ain't-  
Not until the Mayor's killed every last woman, just like he did Todd's mother. It ain't hard to imagine she's sleeping if you ignore the wound in her stomach, a gash that bleeds and bleeds and bleeds-  
But I can't ignore it-  
Cuz I know I can help-  
I know she can't die-  
She can't-  
"Ben, take the ruddy baby and run!" Cillian stands at the empty doorway, a rifle in his hands as he watches for soldiers, his back facing me to make sure I don't see the tears I can see in his noise, the ones I can feel in the air, the anguish that's so heavy and thick I cant breathe-  
And I don't feel in my own body no more-  
When I pick up Todd, his wailing so painful that my heart rips in two, I'm watching outside of myself-  
I watch myself kiss Eileen on the forehead for the last time in forever-  
I watch as I pick up the battered leather journal clutched in her warm, sticky hand-  
And I cant take no more.  
Just as I get to the doorway and take Cillians hand in mine, just as he squeezes it back as gently as adrenaline would let him, just as a splay of bullets shatters the air around me and Cillian screeches "RUN!" at the top of his lungs, its all I can do not to shatter to the ground myself and forget this planet-  
Forget its people, forget the nightmares and misery and terror we caused-  
But I don't shatter-  
I don't-  
Because I vow to myself, to Cillian, to this wretched planet-  
I vow that Todd Hewitt, this tiny baby on a huge, huge disaster of a planet-  
I vow that he will be the start of the most beautiful world you ever known.


	2. Between Points

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war is long over, but it never really left.

Sometimes, the quiet is worst. Dragging up memories is never easy, but it’s espeshally hard when there ain’t no one around remind you that the past is just that. Cuz the memories rage thru yer head-  
The tears and the blood and the pain-  
And the screaming-  
Of course, the screaming-  
Crouched here, holding Eileen’s journal in my hands, it’s enough to tear me apart. This is war, right here in my hands, this is what it leaves behind. Empty people and empty memories. But it never really does go away, does it? It still plays out in my head.  
From over the fields, Noise travels. I make sure to cover my own the best I can, wiping the wet from my eyes before my Cillian and little Todd come and see me in a state they don’t need to witness. Images of Todd’s childish thoughts are thrown around the field, pictures of the swamp and of Cillian picking apples off the trees for him. His Noise is bright and bold and over exaggerated compared to Cillian’s, who’s grown tired over the past five years. He tells me its thru Todd’s energy and curiosity, but I know it aint. Cuz I’ve grown tired, too. Tired livin’ a life that aint got no purpose anymore; no purpose apart from Todd.  
It’s Todd who comes running thru the door first, shoutin’ my name as he throws his pudgy arms around my neck, telling me about all the things I already seen in his Noise. Before he notices, I manage to slip his ma’s journal beneath the settee. He don’t need to see it any time soon. Not while he’s happy.  
“And there was a massive cassock,” he continues, “like, the biggest thing you ever seen, and it started runnin’ after us, didn’t it Cillian?” Todd turns from me as Cillian comes thru the door, closing it behind him.  
“It sure did,” Cillian chuckles. His laughter is cut short tho. He can hear it, hear the pain in my Noise, and altho Todd’s too young to understand it Cillian knows I’m hiding from them both. He reaches his hand out toward Todd. “Hey, it’s time for bed now, don’t you think?” and to this, Todd replies with a groan. “Come on, yer up early tomorrow. Got some harvestin’ to do.”  
Cillian looks at me with such compassion that I have to look away before my heart splits in two. Hugging Todd again, I kiss him on the cheek before sending him off with Cillian.  
“Night Ben,” he calls, taking Cillian’s hand, “Love you,”  
I smile.  
He’s OK.  
Todd will be OK.  
“I love you too, Todd.”

Cillian lowers himself beside me on the floor. The journal lies in front of us, Todd’s dreams drifting lazily thru the house. I don’t speak.  
A tear spills outta my eye.  
“S’ok, Ben,” Cillian whispers. Taking my hand, he squeezes it gently.  
Cillian’s real, Cillian is what’s here and now, not the pictures that trample thru my mind-  
“It’s over, Ben.” He reassures, “Todd is a new start for us all,” and I don’t care whether it really is over or not anymore, cuz what ever Cillian says I’ll believe him.  
I believe him.  
I look to him, seeing myself in his Noise more handsome and righteous than I ever could be, and I know I’m safe. With Cillian, Todd and I are home.  
Just softly, gently, I kiss him. His lips are strong and warm, like the words that tumble from them, and even if something does happen to this huge, huge mess of a planet, I know he’ll always be here. Right here, where I need him.  
His lips tell me this is not the end-  
This is not the end-  
And we will get thru the memories together-  
And we will teach Todd about how amazingly, wonderfully brave his ma was-  
And together we will be strong, all three of us, we will be strong for eachother-  
Cuz this isn’t the end.  
This is a whole new beginning


	3. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything has gone. But still, there is a spark of hope.

New World was meant to be a new start, but even on a different planet history has a habit of repeating itself.   
It’s like a book, a diary as you read over it again and replay the scenes out in yer head, except in this diary things change. Little things, just little details.   
But the little things can change a hell of a lot.  
Todd aint so little anymore, and I have to keep telling myself that, over and over and over like a drip in my head because I have to tell myself he’ll be ok-  
He’ll be OK-  
Cillians gone and Todd’s gone and I’m alone but it’s OK because Todd’s safe-  
It’s all OK-  
And that’s when my eyes get so wet that the empty bottle of whiskey sat in front of me blurs, and as the tears fall like rain and my heart explodes in my chest I hurl the bottle at the wall, screaming the knot from my throat as the fractures of glass scatter just like this effing planet has-  
What are we?  
What have we become?  
I need an answer-  
God dammit, Cillian-  
Damn it all-  
“I’m sorry-” I whisper into the nothingness- there aint no-one there, not anymore, cuz all I ever loved has gone but I say it anyway-  
“I’m sorry,” over and over again, and I’m saying it to Todd and Cillian and Eileen and the dead and anyone who ever comes to live on this wreck of a place-  
Cuz people come here to escape the old world, start a new peaceful society with love and justice-  
But there aint no escaping our humanity, no matter how far you fly. There will always be this, this hurt and loss and unfairness from the human race and there aint no stopping it, we just have to make the best of it-  
Cillian liked to tell me that to appreciate the best things in life, we had to experience the worst, and I imagine him wrapping his arms around me and whispering it in my ear-  
But that aint ever gonna happen, not never again and I can’t breathe-  
He’s dead-  
My Cillian is dead-  
But I will fix this planet, for him and for the future and for Todd, and so I rise from the table, raiding the kitchen for supplies and shoving them into a rucksack despite my vision being distorted from wet and anger, cuz I’m going to find him-  
I’ll find Todd and I’ll take him in my arms and tell him I love him, I love him so much, and I aint never letting him go ever again because Cillian died for us-  
He died for Todd’s safety, so I aint putting Todd in more danger than I can help because he’s the only thing I got left worth fighting for and I aint letting him go-  
And I tell myself that this aint the end-  
This aint the end-  
This is only just the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL "CHAPTER"! Thanks if you got this far, I really do appreciate it. Plus I must apologize if my writing is terrible. I'm sticking to the excuse that it's 2 in the morning and my brain doesn't function so well at that time.  
> Anyway, thank you my lovelies!


End file.
